David Hochman: You’ve said you don’t believe in heaven or hell, but do you have any quick ideas for your tombstone?

Bill Maher: Yeah. What was that all about? I certainly don’t want to be buried. Burn me, cremate me. I don’t want to be worm food or get eaten by maggots. But more than that, I don’t want to die.

I want Ray Kurzweil to come up with the singularity in the next 20 or 30 years before I go so I can keep going. I don’t understand these people who say they don’t want to live forever. I don’t want to go! Being dead does not sound like that much fun, and right now I’m having a great time.